Yesterday on facebook I posted that I would soon be writing a blog about the Logical Problem of Evil. However, I don't think I will write about that tonight. I am not sure what I will write about; I think I may reflect on this past school. Reflection is one of the best ways to learn and grow. You get the chance to see where you went right, where you went wrong, ways you can improve and ways to respond more appropriately. I have a lot to reflect on this year. I have been challenge in more ways than I can ever imagine. Let's take a look back on the last year, shall we?
As many of you may know, I am a RA (Resident Assistant) this year. To not bore you with the details, my job mainly consists of a weekly duty night, being there to unlock guys doors and encouraging community in the resident halls. I have not exactly had the easiest year either. I have had to deal with some sticky situation among other things, I have been pushed to my limits and have even stepped over them at times. I have definitely learned a lot about myself since being in this position. I think it is safe to say that this has been the most challenging responsibility I have ever taken on.
To any of my guys that may be reading this, I am sorry for being a flat our jerk at times. I am sorry for snapping or saying things that may have been true but still should not have been said. I am sorry if I have hurt any of you. My goal coming into this year was to be a positive influence in all of your lives. I hope I have at least sort of achieved that.
To anyone who is not on my floor, I would like you to know that this job is not easy. People have seen me at my absolute worst. There have been nights when I just wanted to give up completely, but I would go back and do it all again. If there is one guy on this floor that has been positively effected by me then my effort has not been in vain. Being in a position of leadership was not easy either. I was always told by my mom that I was a leader, but she never told me what it took to be a leader. It is rough, nothing like the movies. There are many times when I feel like a chicken with my head cut off. My only way out is remembering that God is my light.
Even as I go into the summer I feel the pressure to decide my own fate. I wish I could sit here and tell you that I am awesome at giving up control of my decisions and taking God's path, but I'm not. I still fight him every step of the way. Yet, I know somehow he is getting me where I need to go. Somehow he is guiding me down the path of righteousness. Even when I don't feel him, he is there.
He is always behind all of you as well; following your every step, just waiting to help you along your way. You just need to let him. Any of you who have come in contact with me as your RA, somewhere on campus or just through reading my thoughts, I hope that you have seen a small hint of Christ through me. I hope, despite my failures, that I have still left a positive mark on your lives.
Thank you for reading.
Until next time...
